telling people they’re not allowed to be sad about something just because “worse things have happened” is so disgusting stop
I agree with this, but at the same time, it’s important to have some perspective. it’s not that you can’t be sad because you failed an exam or your boyfriend of three months just broke up with you, but maybe you could stfu about how depressed it makes you around the friend whose mom has cancer, y’know? there ARE situations that are worse to go through than others.
Anonymous asked: I definitely agree with your response to the ABDL with child post. When I saw it I was so sickened by it. I also feel the same way about not having kids if your ABDL tendencies surpass just "in the bedroom". I'm actually not having any because of this x:
Well i’m glad you agree. But if that’s is the only reason you’re not having kids, and you really do want to have them, I strongly recommend you try something like therapy! I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a kink or even using ABDL/regression as a non-sexual coping mechanism, but if it interferes with being an actual adult and doing things like driving/working/having kids/etc. it’s really not healthy at that point :( Most research indicates that paraphilias can’t be cured, but a good therapist might be able to help you strike a healthy balance where you can keep your ABDL-related desires satisfied and still have an age-appropriate daily life. Being little is awesome, but being a grownup is awesome too, take it from a nurse and mommy!
cross-posting from my main blog because it’s relevant here too. you can be into BDSM and love being tied up and/or spanked by your boyfriend and be feminine etc. etc. and still be a feminist. it’s all about choice, friends!
I can’t get this out of my head, especially not after being called a “feminazi” for the first time in my life. the older I get the more I glimpse the stupid that lies outside the happy little bubble of intelligence and tolerance that I have surrounded myself with and the more irritated it makes me. but I have faith in you, for some reason. it is my hope that maybe you use the word “feminazi” and believe “feminist” is equivalent to “man-hating lesbian” because you just don’t understand what feminism actually is. so, prepare for an edumacation. feminism 101. a little bitty snapshot of the core values of feminism, and why I’m a feminist and proud of it. here ya go.
-I own this body. if I want to exercise and feed it healthfully, I will. if I want to let it become large and voluptuous because I hate jogging and love brownies, I will. if i want to wear next to nothing and show it off, i will. if i want to cover it completely, i will. if i want to tattoo it from head to toe or pierce it, i will. I own this vagina and uterus too. if I want to reserve it for my future husband, I will. if I want to allow four dozen people inside of it, I will. if I want to touch it every night or six times a day, I will. if I want to fill it with babies, I will. if I want to take measures to make sure it doesn’t end up filled with babies, I will. not a single living person, man or woman, has the right to tell me I shouldn’t or can’t do these things, because this body is not theirs, it is MINE. and whatever I want to do with it is totally okay and none of anyone else’s business, because it belongs to ME.
-as a woman, you should stay home with your children or have no children and run your own company. you should shave your legs or don’t shave your legs. shave your head or spend an hour every morning replicating whatever hairstyle is popular. use birth control or don’t. shop at thrift stores or buy new designer clothes every season. you should stay a virgin until marriage or you should sleep with 28 people before you turn 28. cover yourself from head to toe because you’re comfortable that way or it’s part of a faith that’s important to you or take a walk in cutoffs and a bikini because it’s 95 degrees or you just want to show off your hot body. do these things because YOU want to, don’t let anyone tell you you can’t or shouldn’t or that it makes you any less of a woman or less important of a person. you should not feel pressured into doing or not doing these things by anybody because, see #1: your body is not mine or mens’ or society’s or the government’s, it is YOURS.
-if a man and a woman are doing the same job and have the same qualifications, they should make the same amount of money. this should be a no-brainer, but our scumbag society hasn’t quite figured that out yet. and if you think the wage gap doesn’t exist, you’re an idiot and I give up on you.
-gender stereotypes are stupid. listen up, boys, because this hurts you too. wanna know why you get screwed over in child custody cases and child support and alimony? because it’s assumed that it’s a woman’s job to raise children, and that they need a man to provide for them. want to know why you’re the only ones who have to worry about getting drafted? because it’s assumed that women are automatically weaker than men and can’t protect themselves (if you believe that, I have some female friends in the army you should come talk to. please, by all means, come tell them they’re weak and unfit for military service and let me videotape what happens to you). anyway. women are perfectly capable of being just as strong, athletic, and intimidating as men. men are just as capable of being warm and nurturing as women. these traits have nothing to do with your genitals, and your penis or lack thereof should not determine your personality or what you can and can’t do with your life. the reason it does is because men and women aren’t considered equal in our society- hence, feminism. is it clicking yet?
-BEING A WOMAN IS NOT DEGRADING. here’s another thing that hurts men too! for the most part, women can act like men, and nobody cares (except sexually of course, which is another point entirely). we can wear pants, lift weights, love beer and football, etc. and nobody really cares. but god forbid a man cry, paint his nails, wear a skirt, love pink, or watch Dancing With the Stars. if a man does those things, you know what they call him? a “woman”. *gasp*. a man couldn’t possibly do things that are typically considered feminine, because there’s something wrong with being feminine! *headdesk* I reiterate, being feminine is not degrading. there is nothing wrong with liking things that only women are supposed to like. even if you happen to have a penis. you can be into whatever you want, regardless of your genitals, and anyone who doesn’t like it can go fuck themselves! what a novel concept.
- sexual double standards. my boyfriend has slept with twice as many people as I have. his number is impressive. mine makes me a “slut”. everyone knows guys masturbate. if girls make a joke about masturbation, it’s weird and gross. I mean, come on.
-my body is NOT YOURS. yes, I already made you aware that my body is mine, which means I can do whatever I want with it. this separate but related point means you CAN’T do whatever you want with it. you do not have a right to see, touch, kiss, lick, stare at or stick your dick in any part of me unless I let you. and listen very closely: this applies EVEN if you buy me a drink or dinner or diamonds. even if you’re my boyfriend. even if you’re my HUSBAND. even if I let you do it one time before. even if I’m wearing a miniskirt or alone in a dark alley or drunk or passed out. not a single thing on this earth gives you the right to have anything to do with my body except my willingly given permission.
-tying into the above point- rape is not caused by miniskirts or drinking or being alone in a dark alley, it’s caused by RAPISTS. rapists are not always monstrous predators. a rapist can be an average person who doesn’t understand what informed consent actually means and/or was raised to believe that for some reason he/she has a right to another person’s body without their willing permission. if everyone understood and followed the above point, rape wouldn’t exist. unfortunately, they don’t. hence: FEMINISM.
-my body is NOT a sexual object. yes, we’re sexual creatures, we’re wired to get horny, and yada yada. you are not a primate. you are perfectly capable of seeing me as a human being with thoughts and desires and aspirations and not a pair of tits regardless of whether my cleavage is showing. “you are the result of billions of years of evolutionary success, fucking act like it”. and for FSM’s sake, can we maybe talk about saving the WOMEN heroically batting breast cancer instead of just saving their titties? *facepalm*
okay, that was a much longer rant then I anticipated. TL;DR? my body is not a sex object. it’s mine, not yours. I can do what I want with it and you can’t. what you like and do should not be determined by whether or not you have a penis. there’s nothing wrong with being a woman and that applies to ANY AND EVERY KIND OF WOMAN. do you agree with those things? congratulations! you are a feminist! (yes, men can be feminists too!) don’t agree? then go apologize to your mother, sisters, daughters, aunts, grandmothers, etc. etc. and explain to them why you think they are unqualified to decide what they should and shouldn’t do with their body/life. and stand still while they (hopefully) punch you in the face.
conclusion: I work out, I work part time so I can homeschool my child, I buy my boyfriend things and occasionally pay for dinner, I like wearing dresses and painting my nails and sucking cock and kinky sex where my boyfriend slaps my ass with a belt. I’m also a feminist. you should be too, because if you like those things, that should be okay, and if you don’t, that should be too.